I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
where does the pee come out of this thing
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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