I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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