summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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