Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
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no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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