I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize