i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
