I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
