covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
