it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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