I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
