You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
