making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize