I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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