Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
