Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
