Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
