Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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