Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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