Sponge bath it is.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
