exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
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Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
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somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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