She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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