I hate all girls vehemently.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
