You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
