I just made out with a guy for $7.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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