Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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