Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
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You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
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Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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