Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
