im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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