wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize