rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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