Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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