since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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