I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
