turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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