look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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