you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
