you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She needs sedatives and a leash
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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