Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize