you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
