I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
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started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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