the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
