I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Everything about him screamed your future.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
