i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
