Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
