After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
