You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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