She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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