Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Found your dick twin last night
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.