Non-Jews are for practice
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
