He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
