I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
