I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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