After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
