C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
