White coat. Heels.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
