I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
