i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
