Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
