It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
