I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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