Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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