Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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