then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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