Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Everything about him screamed your future.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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