It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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