I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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