I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
